Are you okay?

I get asked this all the time and we all know the answer.

Yeah well how can I tell them my heart is broken and that my mom kicks my ass all the time.

That my family causes me mental pain.

That I hate everyone.

And that I trust no one.

Dont act sad I'm just an idiot that deserves it.
I want to be held in a man's arms more than anything.

I wish for that every 11:11.

I know it seems silly, but I'd give anything for that.
As I left a party in college I heard a girl screaming

I dove between her potential rapist and saved her, but was beaten up .

Maybe one day, there will be a girl that will think of me as her hero.
I always stare at my reflection in my mirror.

All I can see, are the rolls of fat that show up when I sit down.

Or how my stomach goes out farther than my cleavage.

And how my hips are huge, and I look like a muffin top.

All I can see, are my little imperfections.

Those imperfections, that make me cut, starve, binge, purge, and suicidal...

When I was eight years old my step-grandfather touched me.

It was my fault for being naive.

My parents didn't act and let him live with us for another eight years.

I don't tell anyone because my parents didn't care, so why would anyone else?

My parents and that man made me incapable of trusting.